|“||I, Christian Weston Chandler, am straight. Don't you forget it.||”|
Christian Weston Chandler, better known as Chris-Chan, is the TRUE and HONEST creator of Sonichu, the greatest webcomic of all time. He uses his god-like powers to make sure the Memebers stay straight. He needs a cute girl his age, and supports Women's Rights. His Arch enemy is Clyde Cash.
- So Need A Cute Girl, a video of Chris singing badly over a backstreet boys song, most famous for the line "Tell me why I'm stuck as a virgin with rage". Hailed as the greatest song of all time.
- I Got A Fish, another song, this time simply consisting of the lines "I Got a fish, would you like to make a wish?". Generally used when fish are mentioned.
- Crashing into slumber, something someone does when under immense stress, or when Sharpy sees porn.
- Slanderous Mockery, a parody a memeber doesn't like.
- The Pickleman Tricked Me Again/Pickles, a food Chris hates for their resemblance to dicks, occasionally mocked by memebers.
- Staying Straight, something everyone must do to make Chris happy. He hates the homos, you know?
- Random-Access Humor, a term for random humor, used to mock Ryan and others for making said humor.